louisdelgay:

if you are a lil unsure about your outfit just remember rupert grint went to his first premiere wearing this

esexist:

yeah there are a lot of fish in the sea but how many have low standards

peevesies:

i went down to the middle school today for relay for life and i saw my old social studies teacher i had a crush on (don’t talk to me) and he was like “hey how are you i haven’t seen you in ages?” and the first thing i blurted out was “I JUST TURNED 18” and jesus christ if that’s not the thirstiest thing i’ve said in my whole life

boygrimlark:

scout-ebubbles:

docot:

freddybenson:

leovaldezstyle:

freddybenson:

A

B

C

the brazilian wandering spider’s venom can give you an erection lasting for hours

D

E

satans-fabulous-blog:

morphingly:

brightredkettle:

are you the SAT because i’d do you for 3 hours and 45 minutes

with a ten minute break halfway through for snacks

That’s the most reasonable pick up line I’ve ever heard. You’re hired.

sfux:

i feel like people who eat breakfast really have their lives together